Other than the obvious unfortunate reason that I was home
early, the trip was amazing. There were nice dinners; that food that I had been
missing for months and months was plentiful and in every direction that I
looked. The air conditioning and use of my old car in order to go wherever I wanted,
whenever I wanted were amazing. I couldn’t put a price or quantifiable value on
the time with my family. My nieces didn’t forget me. They warmed up to me and
realized who I was again almost immediately.
Everything was so clean. My
adorable family had my room spotless and there were fresh sheets!!!! I’m
telling you, hand-washed sheets just don’t smell the same. The mountains were
incredibly beautiful and I spent a fair amount of time in them just relishing
in what I had missed so much. I was able to see old friends, laugh
and catch up on their lives. I played my favorite sports, golf and tennis, and
wasn’t even that horrible! I went running with my mom and was able to do so
without feeling completely harassed and signaled out (other than the fact that
the altitude about obliterated me). In fact, I could go anywhere I wanted and
perfectly blend in. No one shouted anything at me; no one demanded money or
treats and no one made me feel unwelcome. It was bliss.
During my visit, I was asked if it was hard to be home, if I
was having trouble readjusting. Honestly, I thought that it would be a lot
harder. It was too easy to get back into the routine of having my own
transportation, speaking English, having a refrigerator, having cold and clean
drinking water, sleeping in a comfortable bed not in a pool of my own sweat, taking hot showers every day, seeing my family, and
just being back in normal life. However, it wasn’t easy to see the excessive
wealth. It was difficult to adjust to the price of things and to realize how
much crap everyone has. Driving on the freeway legitimately scared me. The
technology everywhere honestly grossed me out. It’s all over the place. I saw
multiple groups of people that would sit there, not saying a word to each other,
and just be messing around with their gadgets.
Another common series of questions that I was asked by
virtually everyone was obviously about my time in Senegal. “How’s Senegal, do
you just love it?!” (No, no I don’t. I’m actually not just on an extended
vacation there, contrary to popular belief). “What’s Africa like?!” (It’s hot
there. If I went past this response, eyes tended to glaze over unless they were
my close friends). “So, like, what are you even doing over there?” (Good
question. Helping the people? My standard response: Working with underrepresented
groups such as women and children and teaching them ways to alleviate their
poverty (The typical response to that? Silence. And then, oh…awesome!). “Did you learn that
clicking language?” (Um, no). People mean well but ultimately the only ones who
truly understand my time in Senegal and what it has been like for me here are
my fellow PCV friends.
I guess that brings me to the last question that I was consistently
asked, “When are you coming home?” This one was a little more difficult for me
to answer. Like most PCV’s, I go back and forth every day, such is the
rollercoaster life of our emotions here. One day I want to slap every
Senegalese person I see in the face (don’t worry, I don’t actually do this) and
run all the way back to the states but then the next day, I’m walking around
greeting everyone and loving life. For me, I came to Senegal to work, to help
people, to make a difference in the world. I knew I would have downtime but I
thought that would be minimal compared to my work load. I have found this is
not the case. I can’t say though that a
part of me didn’t come here for the selfish reasons as well. I know what this
experience will do for my professional life as well as my own personal growth
that I am going through here.
I think, though, sometimes I forget what I signed up for by
coming here. It’s not supposed to be a cakewalk (as one of my good friends here
put it). Every day is hard. Every single day is a challenge but what is life
anywhere if not a series of different challenges? Yes, I miss everyone and
everything familiar to me but my visit home definitely taught me that nothing has changed
in the states. Some people have moved away and there are more babies, different
jobs, but overall, everyone and everything are exactly the same.
I guess the moral of all this insane rambling is that I’m
going to do my best to keep pushing on here. The answer to the question is that
I don’t know when I’m coming home. I’m not making any promises and I’m just
going to try to live simply and take things one day at a time.
Now I’d like to end this on a fun note. You’re probably
wondering what in the hell I do with myself amidst all of this downtime that I
ramble on and on about. Well, in the past year, I have read over 30 books. I
re-read some of my favorite books that if you haven’t read, you need to. These
include The Passage, The Terror, The Giver, The Last Lecture, and Under the
Dome (among 7 other Stephen King books, him being my favorite author and all). I
have watched about 7 different full series of TV shows. New favorites included
Modern Family and New Girl along with re-watching one of my favorite series of
all time, Arrested Development. I watched around 50 movies. Of course, the best
Pixar and Disney were on repeat (Tangled, Up, Wall-E, Toy Story, How to Train
Your Dragon, Mulan, etc.). Finally, I wrote. I wrote this blog and I wrote over
100 pages in a journal. I also sat a lot and just reflected. I reflected about
many of the things I’ve written here so no need to get into any of that again.
Overall, I am so grateful for this journey and what it has
taught me about the world and myself. Not many people can say they spent a year
in Senegal: learning new languages, dancing, crying, laughing, and just living.
I can. And I will never regret it.
Until the next time then,
xx
I love your reading your blogs! Of all my friends, I've known you the longest. 18 years. Alexx, I can't even begin to tell you how truly amazing you are - and how amazing the things you are doing are! I know our lives have taken different paths and we've grown apart - but like I told you before - some of my most cherished childhood memories are shared with you and I'm so grateful for our friendship & I'm grateful for the example that you are in my life. Keep changing the world beautiful - you're truly doing great and wonderful things! Love you.
ReplyDeleteHeather